I need a lot of help because i'm one of those people that needs to be heavily medicated, whether i do it to myself or it is by a doctor. sedation?

Heavily medicated?: What makes you say you need to be "heavily medicated"? You're surely suffering with something, and it's best to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation of what's going on. Sometimes other medical conditions mimic psychiatric ones, and this can be discovered. Also some conditions do need psychiatric medications; the right ones can be provided. Trying to do it to yourself invites other problems.