A 47-year-old female asked:
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big sis always resented me makes holidays horrible for me so i leave early don't want to go to dinner at all this year is that better than leaving mad?

2 doctor answers
Dr. Jeff Livingston
22 years experience Obstetrics and Gynecology
Tough family dynamic: Every family has its issues. Holidays often magnify the underlying problems. There is no right answer for this one. Smiling and being nice often diffuses the other person who may be trying to pick a fight. It sounds like you and your sister need to "talk it out" but christmas may not be the day to do so. Rem, if you get mad then she wins. Go to dinner, smile and try to not let her get to you.
Answered on Oct 3, 2016
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1 thank
Dr. Laura Davies
24 years experience Psychiatry
Complicated: Families can be tough, and holidays often make us all act like children. How does she act one on one? Who else attends the dinners? You might want to chat with her beforehand, when things are less chaotic. If you find your relationship really bothers you, you might want to get some therapy to get some coping strategies and distance.
Answered on Mar 2, 2012

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