I absolutely cannot get my contacts on after the first time. what am i doing wrong?

An art: Putting in contacts is an art form that takes a little practice. Your best bet is to find a friend who wears contacts, who will sit with you and advise you on how to do it. It is helpful to sit over a low table with a hand mirror on it to watch what you are doing and to catch the lens if it falls out. There is a learning curve, but once you overcome that, like millions of others its easy.