I have valgus deformity and total loss of joint space laterally although not in severe pain by not having tkr done am i doing more harm putting it off?

Mind over matter: With knees, it's all about pain. If you don't mind, it don't matter. The joint is only going to get worse. One of the big issues is the life-expectancy of the hardware, which is 10-20 years so doing it too early means it might have to be re-done later. So long as your knee pain isn't bad and it isn't causing back problems, feel free to put it off, just check in with an orthopedic surgeon.

Factors to consider: Based on your description, total knee arthroplasty is likely to be your most reliable option. Pain and loss of function remain the primary reasons to undergo surgery. However, as the deformity and arthritis worsen, it can make for a more technically challenging surgery with increased risks of residual stiffness as well as nerve injuries with valgus deformities. Discuss pros and cons with surgeon.

Not necessarily: If you are not limited by pain, weakness, or giving way symptoms, there is no need to rush into knee replacement surgery. Many minor symptoms can be treated for a long time with anti-inflammatory medications or injections. If you are having pain and functional limitations, surgery can certainly help with that.