I cheated on my boyfriend twice and i am a breastfeeding mother and i am afraid i gave my entire family hiv but i am way to afraid to get tested ?

Just be brave: Of COURSE you are afraid. Life is about overcoming fears. Think of the fears you overcame already just to become a wife and then a mother. You can do it. Phone your physician. You do not have to reveal the affair. ACT brave. Fake it until you ARE brave. Do the right thing by the people that love you -- and perhaps then you can forgive yourself as well. Best wishes.

Check: your medical records. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to be tested for HIV as a part of routine prenatal care. Ask your OB if you have already been tested; it is likely that if you were HIV+, you would have been notified. Good Luck

Better: to get tested. Most doctors can offer confidential test and results, if positive treatment is available and counseling. Love your family enough to let them know and get tested. Furthermore keep your family safe by practicing safe sex or exclusive monogamous relationship