Feel bad at 92 if leak if aides don't wake me to void at night. seems like they don't want me to drink, but my doctor does (recurrent utis and renal).?

Difficult balance.: Dealing with incontinence can be quite difficult, especially when further complicated by infections & difficult toileting. There are many things that can be done to try to help each problem. I recommend seeing a urologist, armed with a 2-day bladder diary. Write down when and how much you drink, void, and leak. It will show if you are hydrated enough & where improvements can be made.

Adult diapers: There are a variety of products available to help with nocturia. The aides are presumably paid to do what the doctor prescribes, and agree that if you are prone to utis you do not want to become dehydrated, but rather continue high flow urine output.