I do see a gp and psychologist and really want to tell them how i really feel and think but worried of rejection or they will put me hospital and laug?

It's understandable: You're not alone. Health providers are very aware that this is true. Waiters in restaurants know that patrons are hungry. You can start by saying "Please don't laugh, it would really upset me. This is hard for me and I really don't want to be hospitalized. But I do want your help." I don't find you foolish, neither will they. If you (or another) is not at risk - no hospital, OK? You deserve care.

Most people: Feel uncomfortable with some of their innermost feelings. In therapy as they build trust with their therapist they gradually share more and more of thse uncomfortable thoughts. Therapists know this and help them realize that their thoughts and feelings cannot do harm to anyone. Only actions can. If you are not dangerous to yourself or others they will not hospitalize you or laugh. Speak with them.