What do you suggest if i cry every night because of memories of my past, help?

EMDR is an effective: tool for dealing with past pain. It sounds like the past is very painful and still with you. Talking to a counselor can help determine if medicine is necessary and what kind of therapy would help heal your sadness/depression. Your pain is real and can be treated. Get help and now. Waiting makes it worse. Everyone has some pain at some point in there life even Dr's.