I set myself on fire at age 4, fell in love with a older guy at 14, mother was killed when i was 4.now i am very mean, very!is something wrong with me?

Stress: So sorry to hear of the trauma in your life, you could really benefit from seeing a mental health professional on a weekly basis. Do yourself a favor and seek a referral from your doctor. Best.

Attachment problems: It's likely that your resilience has been affected due to early trauma. Consider therapy combined with medication to help you manage emotions. Approaches that include mindfulness are helpful: mbct and dbt. Energy psychology is also beneficial.