Hole in ear drum 1 ent said paper patch and 1 said hole is to big and needs a graph so how do i know who is right and which surgery to get ?

Who to believe?: Some options are - get a tie breaker 3rd opinion. Ask around about the reputations of the docs involved and go with the one with the better reputation. Check out their reputations online - yelp, angie's list, and many others to figure out if one has a better reputation. Go with your gut feeling. Ask the docs themselves to provide support for their opinions. Good luck!