I have depression but it's situational. i am depressed for an exact reason. meds don't work. if i can't solve it, then is there a mind numb med?

Not by yourself: You don't have to do things all by yourself -- you can avail yourself of help working through whatever has happened. Psychologists and psychiatrists who provide psychotherapy can assist you. You cannot change the past, but you can have a different future depending on choices you make now. Some losses are very difficult, and yet human beings are endlessly resourceful. No need for mind-numbing.

Counseling: It sounds like you need to cope with something that you feel is unchangeable. If that is the case, meds may help, but you probably should work with a therapist to help you get through this.