Is using ice to reduce hems better or just as good as putting vasoconstrictor creams on them? what about warm water on toilet paper held against them?

Why not try and see?: Since none of these are dangerous in any way, why not give each a trial and see which helps you most? You'll be the best judge of your own reaction and will have made your first step toward taking better care of yourself. As you learn your own responses to your own good ideas, managing some of your depression and anxiety will become like advanced placement courses. Maybe you can do it! good luck.