What is the hiv risk here? made out, frottage, touching w/ hiv+ man on treatment. he says undetectable. cant verify. i worry b/c he touched himself before putting his fingers in my mouth. is there risk if pre-cum on the fingers? no other penetration?

Zero risk. If his information is accurate (undetected viral load test from anti-HIV treatment) he cannot infect anyone even with unprotected prolonged unprotected anal or vaginal sex to completion. Couples in this situation -- uninfected partner having regular sex for several years with an HIV infected person on good treatment -- do not need condoms and never catch HIV.

There is a very slight chance if he had any penile fluid- also he says he is neg. But such encounters are risky. If worried get tested