My 3yr f anus and private part keeps itching not pinworms not yeast or uti, i shower her standin up i use dove sensitv skin laundry detergent is all white container un scented. she barely wants to eat , what else can it be? :( -a desperate mother?

It is good that she showers standing up as any soap entering the genital area can trigger these symptoms. Once the habit of itching/scratching starts it self-perpetuates as the rubbing/itching triggers tissue responses. I cannot link her feeding pattern to this issue. I would be sure to only rinse her genitals in plain soap free water as even the mildest soaps can trigger an itch.

The tissues in that area are very thin and sensitive. Avoid using any soaps and consider adding 1/2 cup vinegar to the bath water twice weekly. Tight clothing or wiping incorrectly can make the area worse. Also consider the toilet paper and use water based wipes. I hope this helps.