When you masturbate, if you ejaculate semen then of course it is not retrograde. If no semen comes out when you have an orgasm, it's retrograde. (Sounds like indeed your OCD is at least part of the problem....)
Answered 11/19/2022
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Advice regarding ejaculation should be heeded, but you would benefit by dealing with your OCD and hypochondria. Consider obtaining counseling with an experienced Cognitive-Behavior Therapist.
Answered 11/12/2022
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