Will picking up and/or carrying a 20 mo toddler spoil them? my girlfriend is always yelling at me not to pick her up, saying i'm turning her into a monster/brat, but the answer i got about going to counseling won't work.

Training: While there are no specific guidelines about how much to carry a toddler, the rule of thumb is that if you respond every time she cries, she learns that she can get anything when she cries. This will make for a difficult childhood and a worse adolescence. Try sitting, reading or playing with her on the floor, but not responding every time she cries. It is vital that she learns to self sooth.