Its been 3 years and husband age 23 his penis doesn't get hard. we've been to several urologist and they said nothing is wrong. do you think its me?

Something is wrong: There definitely is something wrong with a 23 year old guy with erectile dysfunction. Obviously, it is not urological. And no, it is not your fault. Sexual function reflects the state of your relationship with each other. But before one or both see a psychologist, i would look carefully for a medical problem such as a problem with the nerves or arteries leading to penis. Neuro before psyche here.

Other things: Some medications can cause ed, so a visit to his primary care physician is in order. If nothing is found by the primary care, then an evaluation by a psychiatrist/psychologist is really important.

It's relationship: Erectile dysfunction can be caused by neurologic, vascular or hormonal problems in males, such as might occur in diabetes, hypertension on medication, multiple sclerosis or other nervous system disease. However i'm presuming hubby is healthy. Sexual function is a reflection of each participant in the relationship. So i would suggest talking with a good gp or psychologist together.