Really bad depression and maybe a drinking problem i always get urges to drink feel empty without alcohol and only alcohol can fill up the emptiness ?

Glad you realize : This is probably due to a mix of your life situation, your genetics, and some of the beliefs and habits you have built over your eighteen years. I think you already realize that this is the way to a miserable life, loss of all your good relationships, and early death. You need to see your physician now about medication and referral for likely CBT and a group of supportive people. Do it man, now.

Motivate: You can replace alcohol with healthy habits such as exercise and even becoming involved in a healthy diet that your mind can pursue as much as alcohol. Humans are habit formers. Always believe that you can feel better and give yourself the strength by living healthfully. Good luck. Please stay calm and try cognitive behavioral therapy with an intelligent counselor to help you understand you.

You only think: that alcohol is the way to fill emptiness. Alcohol is likely fueling your depression. Are you involved in Alcoholics Anonymous? Are you being treated for your depression? Start with a medical evaluation to rule out medical causes of your symptoms. Medications are sometimes indicated. Talking therapy to include Cognitive Behavioral therapy or psychotherapy can be effective. Aim for daily >