What type of washing or rinsing is best to recover from pepper spray?

Water: First, I have to say don't get pepper sprayed! But if you do it is going to take a some work to get it off. First, get out of your clothes. Use water(+/-shampoo)to rinse hair(can hold the pepper). Thoroughly wash your eyes with clean water. Then shower. Avoid touching eyes. If burning mouth, eat some bread/milk. Many sprays are not water soluble & washing your hair & body with milk may help more!

Oils or Alcohol: Capsaicin, the active compound of pepper spray, is not water soluble. This means that water does not get rid of it. It is soluble in oils and alcohols, so products that contain oil can work to remove it. The capsaicin dissolves in the oil, then soap and water is used to wash off the oil. Milk can remove it due to the casseins. 95% isopropyl alcohol (available in some states) should work too.

Soap: Simple soap and water on skin. Copious amounts of water or normal saline in the eyes.

Water isn't enough: Here is the solution (no pun intended) to your problem: http://www.pepper-spray-store.com/pages/antitdote

Flush : Flush eyes with water or saline.