My husband insists on anal sex at least once a month but i find it very painful. is it safe and there anyway to make it less painful?

See below: Anal intercourse is generally safe but if it hurts...You shouldn't do it!

Emotional or Physical?: Having both, odds are it isn't safe. Making it less painful may not make it safe or safer. For women it's risky, especially for those who bore children. Close proximity of vagina, urethra, clitoris, anus, uterus, sigmoid colon & bladder coupled with possible anal contamination are why. If anal sex is forced in the slightest physically or against one's will, physical and emotional damage can occur. Birth canal damage during delivery can be exacerbated. Infections are a risk. Talk to him when things are quiet. Tell him how you feel. Ask if he will join you in a talk with your ob/gyn doctor.