A psychology question. i'm leaving the state soon and am leaving behind my 62 year old father. he is depressed and angry and has always been that way. i love him, how can i leave while helping us both?

Help for the family: If you have to leave States than have your father stay with any of your relatives he is familiar with. This will hopefully replace you in his mind when you are away. You will also fell safe that he is taken care by relatives.

We can care about: and love someone and keep an eye on them but we need to resist letting their moods dictate our lives and moods. Your dad has probably resisted your efforts to help in the past and saying w/him would be futile. Write out a list of agencies and professionals who may help and give it to him. Keep in touch but don't be co-dependent. You sound like a good son. Peace and good health.

Leaving home stress: Are you living with your father now? Is he still working? Is he physically healthy? Is he angry at you for leaving state? If your father has been depressed and angry for years, but was able to function OK (job, health, relationships) he will probably continue. If he is clinically depressed and unable to work or function well, perhaps you could go with him to an experienced psychologist to get help

Therapy may help: Perhaps you and other family members might discuss with your dad whether he would be willing to discuss his feelings with a mental health specialist. Sometimes when an angry depressed person feels they are abandoned by someone close to them, they might feel suicidal. Also if you have strong emotional reactions to what is going on, it may be very helpful for you to speak with a therapist.

No perfect solution: What I hear in your question is, not only has he always been this way, but you're edging closer to the inevitable conclusion that there is no pleasing him, nor is there a perfect solution for either of you. There are some people who are so miserable, that no matter what you do to please them, they find fault in what you try to do for them. you have to make a separate peace with this situation.

Do you want to: maintain contact with him? You're leaving for "some" reason and must also care for your father. Perhaps you can stay in touch with Skype, which is a little better than the phone. Sounds like part of you wants to leave, and his chronic disagreeableness would explain some of your motivation. Have you arranged for someone to take care of him in your absence? Lots of questions...