What are the best lenses for strabismus? (exo) are toric or multifocals better? doctor said there can't be surgery at this stage. also, are progressive/bifocal glasses better than single vision?

Lenses may not help: If you have a lazy eye, no lens will "fix" it. However, any lens that gets you to your best corrected vision will help but i usually recommend staying away from multifocals in lazy eyes. If you still have a muscle problem--this should be addressed by a strabismus surgeon.

Any of these work: All of these correct different parts of the problem. With the small amount of cyl that is present, you should not need toric lenses. Multifocal contacts, and progressive/bifocal glasses are only used if there is esotropia, not exo, that is worse at near than at distance. If you are not seeing an ophthalmologist (medical eye doctor), you should get an opinion from one.

Sigle lenses are OK: You list three non related problems. Exotropia usually requires surgery; toric lenses are for astigmatism, of which you have a negligible amount; at age 21 you should not need multifocal or bifocal lenses. Single vision lenses should be fine at your age.