Help. i just don't know what to do anymore. self harm, depression and bpd. how do i stop feeling like this?

That's tough: I'm assuming bpd means borderline personality disorder. If you haven't tried it yet, find a person trained in dialectical behavioral therapy and get in a dbt group. If you're committed to it, there's a very good chance it will help. Sometimes psychiatric meds can help but too many different ones without much progress often means it's time to try dbt instead.