Most men have an erection in the morning or get hard when they are spooning next to their partner. my husband never does. could he lack testosterone?

Absolutely: Assuming your husband is approximately the same age as you, it would be unusual for him to have low t, but not impossible. If he significantly older, then this condition is more likely. Total and free testosterone labs, as well as a serum Estradiol would be a start. If Estradiol is elevated, he has a lot of aromatase enzyme, and needs to be on arimdex. Consider a consult with an endocrinologist.