I push when i defecate and now suffer from a leaking bladder. is this related? are there remedies or will i be like this/get worse when i get old?

Bladder incontinence: This is commonly known as stress urinary incontinence. This can occur with any activity, like straining to defecate, that increases abdominal cavity pressure. Activities like sneezing, coughing and laughing can reproduce these symptoms unexpectedly. Typical management involves special exercises designed to strengthen the "pelvic floor" muscles, medication or surgery as a last resort.

Probably : You may have urinary retention. Your conditions may be related. Only a proper evaluation can sort it out.