We have been maried 25 years the later 17 years no intimate contact. he is on testoterone patches and taking cialis. nothing . i have found him on porn sites. he just has no interest in me. after 17 years is it too late to even try?

I : I suggest talk with him and ask him directly (in a non-acusatory or judgemental manner). There are so many things that can impact a man's interest in sexual activity with his spouse. Some men become less sexually excited with their wife after she has born a child. If the relationship is strained or lacking in emotional intimacy, that could be a deterent. Some men feel more sexually aroused when something seems "naughty" to them. I would ask him why he has not had sexual contact in such a long time. Since he is using cialis, is treated with testoterone and he goes to pornographic sites/ these things are suggestive that he still has a sex drive (libido). Sometimes, expressing interest and giving him permission, may help to get over a bump. If you are missing sexual intimacy with him, i would let him know how important it is to you. If you have been unresponsive in the past to sex, this could keep him away. Invite him to share this form of intimacy with you. If there seems to be a block, may he would be willing to consider seeing a couples therapist. It does take two to tango and you would both need to have the desire to work past this issue. Good luck.