As an abandoned parent i need to know how i can change my life?

How bout a book?: A good book, if you will buy and read it is: "getting the love you need" by harville hendrix. It is an excellent book, i think you may like it. Also, have you tried a support group? If not, i suggest you contact your local nami for a referral. Nami is the national alliance for the mentally ill. Finally, you could have an evaluation to help decide if a medication might be of benefit. Good luck.