I had a very large incisional hernia repair 12 weeks ago that failed. i am 5'2" and 230 lbs. how much weight loss is recommended before i try again?

185 lbs: You would ideally like your bmi to be normal but a good goal is to get it below 34. You are currently over 42. So a weight of 185 is a good targert. Also know that every operation from here has a higher and higher incidence of recurrence associated with it.

As much as possible : The best results are when you are as lean as possible. If you are going for it again make sure that you find a surgeon that performs complicated redo hernias.