Why do i always deflect and make up lies to cover up the truths of my life?

You learned this: It is tremendously to your credit that you acknowledge this to yourself and others and have asked for help on healthtap. In an abusive home, a child must lie to survive. Whatever growing up was like, this is something that you learned to do that now forces you to continue. Get with some wise person -- in the counseling business or not -- who can guide you in reprogramming yourself.