How to handle dealing with teenager?

Pick your battles: Teens are trying to figure out who they are by trying out lots of different things. They also are more interested in their peers than their parents, but parents still count. Try to be understanding and supportive, but keep reasonable boundaries. Try a family council once a week. Pick your battles and don't sweat the truly small stuff. Listen more than you talk. Try to guide not preach.

Aap.org has a good: Book on raising your teen. The norm is push-pull, striving for independence & self-expression but still needing clear limits with immediate & delayed reinforcers for " good"behavior & consequences for unsafe or " bad" behavior. A parent who engages with an oppositional teen by arguing, yelling is giving negative attention & reinforcing the behavior. " giving in" also reinforces a behavior.