So scared of being preg even though theres no possibility left.i find new irrational thoughts&fear me. dont have the chance to go therapy.what to do?

Irrational thoughts: Go to regular doctor /urgent care. Have them review diet .medications, supplements, vitamins, thyroid ,glucose, basic labs. Let them know your concerns/fears. they can prescribe medicine and refer if needed. Go see doctor within 24 hours. Call 011/Go to ER if thinking of hurting yourself.

Try EFT: While therapy would be wise, try a self-help technique called Emotional Freedom Technique- see http://www.eftuniverse.com/ Search youtube for EFT for instructional videos. Also try exercise & meditation and take a B vitamin complex. Also consider the L-5-MTHF form of folate (folic acid). If you really don't want to get pregnant avoid intercourse when most fertile and use reliable methods of contraception.