I finally figured out i'm bipolar, i only went to the doctor when i was depressed. i thought mania was normal. i don't want to admit it to a dr. help?

It is very painful: to take a hard look at one's self and admit that there is a serious problem. It is also hard to share that. BUT - the first steps in getting well as admitting it & being willing to get help. This will require courage on your part. But is essential if you want to work toward better mental health. You made a big step by sharing in this format. I think you may be ready for the next step. Take care.