So lying down with your boyfriend with clothes and kissing hugging and vagina and penis touching moving together is that being sexual active?

Yes : This is definitely sexual activity even though it is not sexual intercourse per se. It is sexual behavior and falls into the spectrum of sexually active.

"sexually active": The term "sexually active" generally refers to ejaculation of the male in contact with the vagina with or without insertion of the penis into the vagina. It can mean any sexual activity, such as described, but is usually reserved for intercourse or near intercourse.

It's not a medical: definition. It is more a social/cultural convention. As such it is open to interpretation by different people. Medically, the active issue is that direct contact penis/vagina without ejaculation does not have risk of pregnancy BUT does have full risk of transmission of all STD's (risk for HIV from this is very very close to zero; for gonorrhea, chlamydia, warts, and herpes, the risk is quite high

Sexual contact: It depends. The rubbing of genitals, whether clothed or unclothed, can be sexually stimulating and is culturally considered "petting". The textbook answer of sexual contact usually surmises the skin to skin contact of genitals or oral mucosa with the genitals. The presence of clothing limits vaginal or anal penetration, which deceases your risk of pregnancy and STDs.