I have lost my purpose. i feel. like i'm in a hole full of despair and anxiety. does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Depression & Anxiety: With the despair you described, this sounds like clinical depression. I strongly suggest seeking help as soon as possible. Anxiety also frequently co-occurs with depression. Depression is highly treatable by talk therapy, especially when a psychotherapist uses cognitive behavior therapy. Your therapist might also suggest a psychiatric evaluation to learn if medication can also be helpful.