Can you tell me how to get over the guilt that i wasn't there when my mum died?

Talk it out: How long has it been since your mother's death? Many people have regrets about missing contact with a loved one before their death. If your relationship with your mother was generally ok, it will become clear as you discuss it that you did nothing wrong. If your relationship,was more problematic, it is even more important to speak with an experienced therapist or grief counselor to work it out.

Shame/guilt: Shame/guilt is just about the darkest emotion people can face. It presupposes that there's an audience to our alleged wrongdoings, and that devastating judgement will be passed. Something to remember is that everyone has something they feel ashamed about; it's inescapable. Find a reputable psychotherapist to speak with. Getting it off one's chest in a safe, nonjudgmental place is the first step.