I've been trying to reach my doctor for my lexapro (escitalopram) i have switched to new pharmacy and they didn't send it over in on 30mg i'm having thoughts of suci?

Go to ER: You will get the rx for a small amount until you see your physician. Once on antidepressants you should be closely observed for clinical evaluation, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior.

Stay calm, it's ok: Compared to some meds, this has a long half-life so it is still in your system and can get you through the immediate time. If you become more fearful, go to an er or urgent care for help. This is a short-term problem and does not call for a permanent solution (like suicide) - remind yourself of that. Try to be patient with the front line folk you deal with - they'll be more helpful if you can.