I feel really pathetic. how can i feel good about myself?

Feeling pathetic: First, why do you feel "really pathetic"? Rather than getting immersed in the story of it, use your feelings as signposts. Explore them with a trusted mental health professional. Sometimes depression can cause such feelings, and needs treatment -- there are effective ones these days. On your own, develop some small goals you want to work towards and proceed incrementally, w/accountability.