Guilt ridden and thinking of killing myself. what can i do?

Get help: I am sorry no 1 saw your post sooner, but get professional help asap. U can go 2 an er, call a hotline (samaritans or other hotlines 4 people with depression) or call a local mental health clinic. Tell them i are guilt ridden and feeling suicidal and they will help u sort things out. Holidays can b difficult times for people who ate feeling depressed. Don't delay let us know if you need more help.

Depression: Go to your nearest er as soon as possible, give yourself the chance for a better life, your perspective is likely skewed by your depression, best.

Shame/guilt: Shame/guilt is just about the darkest emotion people can face. It presupposes that there's an audience to our alleged wrongdoings, and that devastating judgement will be passed. Something to remember is that everyone has something they feel ashamed about; it's inescapable. Find a reputable psychotherapist to speak with. Getting it off one's chest in a safe, nonjudgmental place is the first step.