I'm kinda glad i'm havin bloody diarrhea, in fact i hope it's something deathly so i won't have to deal with so many problems at 18 i'm gonna shoot my?

make a call: Eagle, please call your local mental health or suicide hotline. I'm concerned for your personal safety, by the tone of your comments. If you have bloody diarrhea, you may have inflammatory bowel disease, such as crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. Please, talk to someone immediately, either your doctor or a community health phone line. Good luck.

Get help now: It is clear that you are feeling overwhelmed. The bottom line is that without help you will likely continue to have difficulty coping. If you have active thoughts of shooting yourself or killing yourself by any other means this is serious. Bloody diarrhea is a medical emergency as are active suidice thoughts. You need to be seen at the nearest emergency room. Take care.