So i don't think i want to be on lithium. side effects not worth it. is there anything similar that might help?

Other agents: You need to discuss the options with your own psychiatrist -- but there are multiple other mood-stabilizing medications. Most are also anticonvulsants, like depakote, lamictal, and even tegretol. Lithium is certainly the oldest applicable medication in bipolar disorder -- which you don't list in your information, just "depression." lithium can help reduce depression also.

Mood Stabilizers: Lithium, depakote, lamictal, neurontin, gabitril, topamax, (topiramate) trileptal, tegretol, among others.