My issue is not an erection at all. it is simply not being able to control when i orgasm. pre mature,ill timed, every time. im lost. my wife doesnt deserve to be left behind help!?

Premature ejaculation can be multifactorial. Sometimes it becomes a vicious cycle- worry about it before sex then premature ejaculation then disappointment. It requires patience on your part, a co-operative wife who does not show disappointment or blame but encourages and reassures etc. Seeing a sex therapist will help . I think with that you will be fine

Please see a Urologist to know if your symptoms are related to a physical problem and a referral to a sex therapist that can help you learn techniques to overcome premature ejaculation.