Hi. i am being paranoid and want to make sure its just all in my mind. the last time i had sex was in mid-jan. could i have a cryptic pregnancy? i have not gained weight and can suck in my belly entirely. pharm urine tests negative. feel bloated :?

Yes, you are likely paranoid. You did not state when your last period was but I guess you checked your urine due to missed period. Test should be positive by now if your conception was 5 months ago and your belly is quite big now if you are pregnant. You should see your doctor if you have not had period since February.

From what your described, you are not pregnant. If you want to settle your paranoia, you could get a blood test for HCG level. If even that is not enough, your doctor can do an ultrasound examination that would show a fetus by now, if you were pregnant. Get HPV and Covid vaccines. Wish you good health!