Is it 'normal' to bleed a little bit after sex with a small tear? is it mainly down to not being enough lube/ being too rough?

All of the above:: simple hint: spend at least 15-20 minutes on foreplay, to the point that you are dripping or very wet. I think communication is also quite important, i.e.- rough sex, position, inadequate lubrication. If intercourse is painful or causing bleeding take a "time out" and empty your bladder and change you sexual position(s). No known overdose form prolonged foreplay or sexual position changes.