My penis is so small when flaccid no one believes it is normal size erect?

Should only matter: If it is big enough in it's "active" state it doesn't matter when it is flaccid. This should be a private matter for the consenting parties involved. What other people think about it when flaccid is not their business.

Great variation: Between flaccid and erect sizes. Ignore them, you know what your penis is capable of and that is what matters. Looks are a lot less important than function. Good luck.