If i am lactose intolerant, when i eat dairy products am i still absorbing the nutrients? is gas and discomfort the only real side effects?

Nutrients elsewhere: If you are uncomfortable after eating dairy, it is a signal that your body may need a different source for those nutrients. Many vegetables can give you the calcium. There are many other sources of protein such as meat, eggs, nuts, soy.

Some yes/some no: When you consume material containing lactose the sugar remains undigested by you & surrounded by water. Gut germs will use it as fuel and make the water acidic and create gas. Some of the nutrients nearby may be absorbed but the residual debris is irritating and produces cramping & the runs. How much of what nutrients are absorbed or washed out with the runs will vary with lactose load.