I was sexually abused as a child and now i don't know how to handle it, what do i do?

Thanks for asking: It must be very hard to reach out after suffering for many years. I have (and am) in your shoes. That trauma is never forgotten, but you can learn to go on despite and in spite of what you lived through - I have that personal experience. It takes therapy, though, to have someone skilled in this type of abuse to help you put it in your rearview mirror, instead of staring at you head on. Seek a pro!