My bpd is ruining our relationship. how do we overcome this?

Psychotherapy: I'm assuming bpd = "borderline personality disorder." the best approach is your working in therapy for your bpd, so that you can develop insight, healthier coping, and more stable relationships. When someone with bpd is very sick, s/he cannot hold on to positive aspects of the other when disappointed or angry -- & abandonment fears evoke these responses often. Couple's work may help also.