If all of my joints feel bendy, unstable, weak, can that also include the tmj? what causes this weakness or degeneration? would like to be more stable

Systemic cause: It sounds like you may have a systemic problem and it may be affecting your whole body. Check with your physician for advice.

Seek medical care: The TMJ can be included as a symptom in many systemic diseases. It appears that the TMJ may be just added to your other symptoms when you seek the care you need. Consider your start with an internal medicine physician, as they can give you a good overall assessment.

Lax joints: Some people have generally lax joints. This can involve the TMJ. See a TMJ expert. Any dentist can be a TMJ expert with the proper training and experience. Most commonly, oral surgeons, prosthodontists, and orofacial pain specialists. Ask your MD, your dentist and your dental society for referrals.