Suffering from depression need counseling i used old unfiltered frying oil with some food particles from previous fried items heat kill all microbes but i pour oil with spoon before heating and put it in sink with other utensil risk of botulism???

The question of botulism has been addressed previously, and the answer is the same: no risk of botulism. But your emotional state appears indeed to merit counseling, and you are encouraged to pursue this.

Please see a Psychiatrist for an evaluation and medication. Have a physical examination to know if your symptoms are from a physical illness. A Clinical Psychologist with expertise in multiple types of psychotherapy can help.