What is it when i have a lot of what ifs always going three my mind and it hinders my desion makin skills?

Obsessive thoughts: It's possible that you're experiencing obsessive thoughts, which may be part of the anxiety disorder of ocd. With these happening, making decisions can become very difficult to impossible. You can get help by working with a psychiatrist or psychologist for diagnostic evaluation, and go from there. Treatment is often with a combination of medications and talk therapies.

Obsessing?: Thanks for your courage in writing and your insight into a potential life-ruiner. If you want the name, perhaps this is "obsessive" something-or-other. Even better -- wouldn't it be great to do something that will stop you from being trapped like this? Thankfully, the obsessive patterns of thinking can be overcome by learning some new tricks. Rx may help but ask your doctor about cbt.